President Bush sedated, suddenly becomes coherent
July 23rd 2007 05:21
I am going to tackle some serious issues on this blog, but we can't forget to laugh from time to time...in light of that, I offer the following....
What was expected to be a routine colinoscopy for President Bush ran into some complications. Apparently, Mr. Bush started to emerge from the sedation he was under and seemed to be uncharacteristically coherent. Normally, the procedure causes a person to become a little woozy and incoherent. Doctors were understandably puzzled.
"Jesus, why are we in Iraq?" Bush is reported to have blurted out. "Jesus, answer me!" The president became visibly upset, having become accustomed to getting advice directly from Christ.
The team of doctors were at a loss, until a "doctor" that no one had seen at the hospital since the last Bush colinoscopy took over. He ordered the team back into the operating room, after first swearing them to secrecy and promising that anyone who spoke about what they were about to do would be deemed "Al Qaeda" and introduced to the real meaning of extraordinary rendition.
The source reporting form the inside at first couldn't understand what was going on. For some reason, the "doctor" was ordering that the president be put back under sedation, and the procedure began again. The team had removed five polyps, and now they were going to put one back. What was even more odd, they had brought the polyp with them. Everyone except for the "doctor" and his assistant looked puzzled. Still, there was one nurse who seemed to know something.
The procedure went on without a hitch, and Mr. Bush came out of it just fine, seemingly back to his old self. "Hillary Clinton is giving aid to the enemy" He told one of the doctors, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the president was back to his old self. He confirmed this further when he said "I'm glad I'm not one of THOSE people in that Michael Moore movie...he he he...you know, sacko oops..sicko, you know, the POOR people who die 'cause they can't afford this kind of screening...he he."
My source was still puzzled after the procedure until he began to talk to the nurse who seemed to know something. She had talked to someone who had talked to someone, and had a theory. Apparently, one of the polyps is something quite different. Instead of being a biological occurrence, it is a state of the art micro computer using nano technology.
Why would the president have a micro computer up his butt? As it turns out, it's some sadistic twist on The Manchurian Candidate. Bush himself is rumored to have sustained some brain damage after a week long binge on coke and booze. The Dark Lord Cheney, along with the likes of Donald Rumsfeld, Ken Ley, Tom Delay, James Dobson and Pat Robertson hatched a plot to bring their dream of a Christo-Fascist American Empire to fruition. They knew none of them could occupy the White House. Bush seemed to be just the tool they were looking for. An implant and a way to insert it as the need required.
As Mr. Bush is scheduled to receive periodic colinoscopies, the evil team had found their perfect cover. The micro computer would need to be replaced occasionally. It seems this time that the "doctor" who was to bring the new micro computer was called to the Vice President's residence at the last minute for some more updating, and that's why he was late.
Karl Rove was given the task of being in charge of monitoring the computer and keeping it saying what they wanted it to say. The implanted micro computer is linked to the president's brain centers that are connected to motor function and speech, so it's not that far off when pundits call Rove "Bush's brain." And in a funny twist, it could be said that the president, in a very real sense, does have his head up his ass.
Like any system, there are glitches. The remnants of Bush's sentient being sometimes override, especially when he is stressed. That probably explains all the Bushims we all know so well.
For anyone not yet aware, this story is parody and a complete fabrication.
What was expected to be a routine colinoscopy for President Bush ran into some complications. Apparently, Mr. Bush started to emerge from the sedation he was under and seemed to be uncharacteristically coherent. Normally, the procedure causes a person to become a little woozy and incoherent. Doctors were understandably puzzled.
"Jesus, why are we in Iraq?" Bush is reported to have blurted out. "Jesus, answer me!" The president became visibly upset, having become accustomed to getting advice directly from Christ.
The team of doctors were at a loss, until a "doctor" that no one had seen at the hospital since the last Bush colinoscopy took over. He ordered the team back into the operating room, after first swearing them to secrecy and promising that anyone who spoke about what they were about to do would be deemed "Al Qaeda" and introduced to the real meaning of extraordinary rendition.
The source reporting form the inside at first couldn't understand what was going on. For some reason, the "doctor" was ordering that the president be put back under sedation, and the procedure began again. The team had removed five polyps, and now they were going to put one back. What was even more odd, they had brought the polyp with them. Everyone except for the "doctor" and his assistant looked puzzled. Still, there was one nurse who seemed to know something.
The procedure went on without a hitch, and Mr. Bush came out of it just fine, seemingly back to his old self. "Hillary Clinton is giving aid to the enemy" He told one of the doctors, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the president was back to his old self. He confirmed this further when he said "I'm glad I'm not one of THOSE people in that Michael Moore movie...he he he...you know, sacko oops..sicko, you know, the POOR people who die 'cause they can't afford this kind of screening...he he."
My source was still puzzled after the procedure until he began to talk to the nurse who seemed to know something. She had talked to someone who had talked to someone, and had a theory. Apparently, one of the polyps is something quite different. Instead of being a biological occurrence, it is a state of the art micro computer using nano technology.
Why would the president have a micro computer up his butt? As it turns out, it's some sadistic twist on The Manchurian Candidate. Bush himself is rumored to have sustained some brain damage after a week long binge on coke and booze. The Dark Lord Cheney, along with the likes of Donald Rumsfeld, Ken Ley, Tom Delay, James Dobson and Pat Robertson hatched a plot to bring their dream of a Christo-Fascist American Empire to fruition. They knew none of them could occupy the White House. Bush seemed to be just the tool they were looking for. An implant and a way to insert it as the need required.
As Mr. Bush is scheduled to receive periodic colinoscopies, the evil team had found their perfect cover. The micro computer would need to be replaced occasionally. It seems this time that the "doctor" who was to bring the new micro computer was called to the Vice President's residence at the last minute for some more updating, and that's why he was late.
Karl Rove was given the task of being in charge of monitoring the computer and keeping it saying what they wanted it to say. The implanted micro computer is linked to the president's brain centers that are connected to motor function and speech, so it's not that far off when pundits call Rove "Bush's brain." And in a funny twist, it could be said that the president, in a very real sense, does have his head up his ass.
Like any system, there are glitches. The remnants of Bush's sentient being sometimes override, especially when he is stressed. That probably explains all the Bushims we all know so well.
For anyone not yet aware, this story is parody and a complete fabrication.
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